Nothing? Really!

Today I commented on a recent blog entry posted by a new friend.  The post was about how everyone thinks it's easy to write. A major fallacy, I agree.  My comment was about how it's two-fold in that we not only have to be adept at the craft of writing to be effective but we also have to have something to say.  While I stand by my comment, it certainly got my head gnawing on the grizzle of that statement.  Having something to say.  I talk plenty. And I can write plenty too.  But what do I actually have to say?

This past year, most of my posts have been focused on the change in my view of how I found sustainable happiness (my passion drummer).  Most people that aren't following a passion drummer, which is pretty much every person I know except for Jason and Roger, really don't "get" my posts, even after repeated explanation.  And Jason and Roger read it and go, "duh, of course!"  So it's been more an effort toward my own self-exploration and I'm not entirely certain that needed to go public.  But who's counting the cows after they're already out of the barn.

Those that know me understand that I'm not one for small talk.  I am not a girly girl with lots of flowery language and attempts to make others think I'm sweet and charming and likeable.  I'm not sweet or charming or even particularly likeable most of the time.  I am not the flibbertigibbet type either.  There hasn't been much whimsy in my life.  I am strong, logical, and just a tad bit driven. (Yes, that was a joke!)  And I'm certainly not particularly funny; although, I love to surround myself with people that are by nature funny because I pick some of it up by osmosis, or at least I like to think that.  Anyone that's met me remembers my (shall we say distinctive?) laugh.

I also don't feel that I have a particularly sharp eye in catching the engaging moments of my day.  The only topic that comes to mind today that had me off on a tangent was while unloading the dishwasher (now isn't that engaging). I used to have a flatware service for 14.  I now have 9 teaspoons, 11 tablespoons, 13 knives, 8 large forks, and 10 salad forks.  I should be upset since those buggers cost me $75 for each 5-piece service, but it serves me right (really doesn't it?) using the good silverware for everyday.  So how on earth did I lose my utensils?  Did a fork get thrown out in a pizza box?  Did a spoon on a paper plate hit the trash-bin without notice?  Did a guest inadvertently take home their dish-to-pass with my tablespoon stowed inside?  Did a nurse turn the garbage disposal on with a fork down the drain and chuck it before I saw it?  Did a knife slide down between the cushions of the recliner, never to be seen of again?  Or are there such things as utensils gremlins?  Or perhaps flatware fairies?  I don't think so.  I'll never know.  But these are the types of mundane happenings in my world.  Not much to say.

Most of my time is spent at work, in a class, reading, or creating something.  I don't sit around and if I do sit, I'm most certainly making something while I watch tv or listen to an audiobook.  Forever the multitasker, that's me.  But I honestly think I exhaust people talking about my daily activities.  Or at the very least alienate myself because others feel that they don't measure up some how.  Like my class addiction is some sort of thing to aspire to!?  Seriously?  I don't know many others with 17 classes scheduled for the month of October, plus new class designs to complete, an old job to quit, a new job to start, and a bunch of other crap on my to-do list.  And I don't know anyone that would actually choose that for themselves except for me.  But doesn't that just mean others should think me crazy instead of amazing?  I do. I'm okay with being a bit odd though. But it isn't something I find particularly interesting to talk about.

My sorted past is fairly interesting; however, I can't much write about it without fear of a libel suit. So not much to say there.

So what do I have to say, I ask?  Can you hear the crickets? Me too.

My Week Off Between Jobs

My last day working at AMD was last Friday.  I start my new job at Homeaway.com next Monday.  This week off has been absolutely glorious!  I've had a chance to read, write, take plenty of classes, attend a few meetup group meetings, work on the www.ClassAddicts.com website, lay out by the pool, and craft.  Tomorrow is Friday and is my last official day off.  I could get really used to not working with all the interests that are yet to be explored and/or revisited. But I'm very excited about starting the new job. I'll start getting nervous on Sunday morning.

Abby's health has remarkably improved since the vet prescribed steroids.  She can't stay on them, but at least now it's quite certain that she's suffering from allergies.  Bosley's back is back to normal.  Ruby is Ruby...I came home to find that she'd lifted a pair of basketry scissors off my end table and taken them over to another room to chew the protective slip cover off of them.  Well, at least she didn't chew the handles so the scissors are intact and there's no blood so she must not have cut herself.

One of the meetup groups that I've started attending is Reading for Writers, and I'm actually making progress on character development and plot outline for the idea I have for a novel!  That has me pretty jazzed.  I'm thinking that I'll continue with the meetup group, reading all the assigned books and participating in the meeting  discussions, and hopefully next year around this time, I can push myself to do NaNoWriMo since that seems like an effective way of getting that dreaded first draft out of the way.  I'm hoping to find a few trusted friends that read voraciously to assist me along the way in terms of feedback and troubleshooting.  So far I've read Ann Lamott's Birb By Bird and Donald Maass' Writing the Breakout Novel.  Donald's book was extremely informative to me and it really helped me see how much I need to learn about novel writing.  First of which is that I'm seriously unread!  There were very few book examples that he sited that I've read, or have even heard of before. I hope to compile a list of the books that Donald sited throughout his book, and put them on my audible wish list.  I also need to compile my notes from his book so I have a synopsis of points that I can look to as my novel progresses, so I don't have to read the entire book again to refresh my memory.

But all that lovely stuff has to wait right now as I have 3 new classes that I'm teaching in October and of course being the procrastinator that I am I've waited until the week before the first 2 classes to start the instruction manuals.  Two are done now except for photos.  One manual is 19 pages without the pictures. The second manual is 14 pages before pictures.  I haven't started the 3rd manual yet, but that class isn't until the following weekend thank heavens!  Yet, with the new job starting on Monday, well, it's going to be "interesting" if I don't get all the manuals done before this Sunday when I teach 2 of the 3 classes for the first time.

I'm enjoying my basketry classes the most at the moment.  And I really feel like I'm progress in terms of skill which is always gratifying.  I've only had one negative class experience recently, but another teacher, Rita Ross, was able to help me learn what I failed to learn in that class (not her class!) so that is the important thing.

I'm really hoping the class addicts website takes off and that other class addicts in Austin will use the forum and share info.  If I'm the only one that has 17 classes scheduled for the month of October, well that just proves I'm the biggest class addict of them all and deserve the right to own the website!  I ordered business cards so that should help get the word out!  Maybe I'll offer some sort of prize/drawing for new members, or for submitted forum posts, or for pictures posted or something.  Heaven knows I have plenty of things that I've made sitting around the house that could use a new home!

I'm finally starting to meet people that aren't co-workers too which is great.  The meetup groups are seriously helping on that note.  It is so enriching to be around others that are smart, creative, talented and motivated!

Where's Tracy and What Happened to "2010 - The Year of Body"?

While 2010 is quickly coming to a close, I've realized that I hadn't really finished my work with "2009 The Year of Happiness" in 2009.  I had hoped this year would be about taking care of the physical me (2010 - The Year of All Things Physical), but I'm finding that my focus was continually brought back to the happiness factor.  Since I didn't really find my passion drummer until October of last year, it's just now been a full year that I've been exploring this new window through which I see my world.  It has profoundly changed me and it continues to do so.  My work.  My play.  My relationships.  But mostly my happiness.

What I've learned over this time of self-exploration is more of what I already knew.  I am creative.  I love to learn.  I love to problem solve.  I am social.  I like to perform.  I like to teach.  I like to write.  Nothing new, but somehow it's all more fulfilling now.  Why?  Possibly because it's not just a hypothetical discussion any longer.  Now it's part of who I am, what I do, where I focus my attention, and where I find personal fulfillment.  It's less about where I live, what I drive, how much I earn (don't get me wrong, living comfortably is important but it alone does not equate to happiness), and less about what others expect of me (the parent, the mate, the daughter, the employee, etc.) and more about did I have fun today, did I learn today, did I do something that I found personally fulfilling and do I have plans to do so again soon. 

I'm reading again.  That has me wanting to write again.  I've joined an aspiring writers group.  I have an idea for a novel that's been knocking around in my head since 2002.  I am excited to think that I may actually start writing it at some point.  I have wonderful friends who've volunteered to read my work and give me feedback.  I'm surrounding myself with the things that will nurture me and my creative writing.  It feels good.

I'm teaching for the first time.  I didn't go looking for it.  It came to me from no action of my own control, a teacher approached me and asked if I might like to teach.  I agreed to try it.  And I found I love it.  I love designing the classes, planning them out, drafting the instruction literature, preparing samples, and creating a class environment where students can relax, have fun, learn, and laugh.  I didn't seek this out, but I did honestly pursue what I love to do and, as I have predicted, the universe provides me with experiences that are rich and fulfilling in return.  How very Zen.

I continue to take classes on subjects all over the board. I continue to meet others like me that love to express themselves in creative ways and love to learn.  I am still toying around with my http://www.classaddicts.com/ social network and hope to have a workable format soon.

I don't know if I want to put a theme to 2011.  I'm not driven like that any longer.  It doesn't seem like much fun. If you know me, you understand that I've never been an under-achiever and that's not likely to change any time soon.  However, I don't need control of myself like I felt I needed to before.  I'm just enjoying the ride and working hard at having fun so I'm totally prepared for the next big wave that comes my way.  Life is the journey, stopping to smell the roses isn't an item on my to-do list but a way of living, and I'm excited about my future!  I'm pretty sure it will be better than I could dream up and put into reality on my own with a checklist, a goal, or a "2011- The Year of  ".

Busy! Busy!

It's been over a month since I've posted a blog.  That's inexcusable!  Of course I've been busy with classes, lots of classes, as usual.  This weekend I decided that I was going to start a new site for people like me that love to take classes as a hobby.  As soon as it's done, I'll be sure to post it here. 

Latest classes have been djembe drum lesssons (looking for a new instructor at present), basketry class, knitting class (both from Hill Country Weavers), retake of glass fusing and slumping, stained glass (both at Blue Moon Glasswork), and another silver soldering class with Rita Ross (have a beautiful ring from that class and now I'm trying to get the patina just right!)

I taught my 2nd new class at Sea of Beads, which is a chain maille class.  The weave was Byzantine.  I got some great feedback on this class, and I teach two more chainmaille classes in a couple weeks along with viking knitting!

Up coming plans include a leather bracelet class, finding a PMC class, finding a pottery (throwing) class, finding a drawing class, and hopefully an advanced stained glass class once the current one is complete. 

Also planning scheduling a B&B session with the girls, and going toobing soon with friends, which is always fun.  I love summer!

Genuine Curiosity, No Expectations, and No Judgments

In my last post, I talked about how day-to-day life demands can cloud your focus on passion/happiness/success. I realized recently that my title for that entry talked about something else that wasn't really touched upon in that blog post and that was the "Genuine Curiosity, No Expectations, and No Judgments" piece.

I was, and still am to a point, a goal-oriented person. I like to set goals, tackle them and achieve them. I used to look at my progress in that regard as a measure of success. I don't any longer (at least not like I used to), but I understand that a lot of people still do (and that isn't a bad thing). One thing that was a negative stimulus in my life (prior to finding my passion drummer) was that I pursued my goals with verve and tenacity, but also stock full with expectations. I also found myself evaluating my progress with judgment in terms of typical measures of success toward that goal. More times than not, I felt like I didn't quite hit the expectation that I anticipated and I felt bad about that. In the end, enough was never enough, because my expectations could never be truly achieved as they were born in my mind's eye.

My life is different now because I go into each new experience with the goal of having fun. As I've said before, I know that sounds like a pretty simplistic goal, and it is...but it's more difficult to do than it sounds...because of the things I was talking about in the last blog post (daily life demands clouding my focus and distracting me). I've found that if my measuring device for whether an experience was a success was the degree of fun that I had, I didn't feel the need to judge myself as a success or failure. That was a liberating experience for me. I didn't beat myself up for having fun, and I didn't beat myself up for not having fun, I just made the decision of continuing in that direction based on whether I had fun. So it wasn't as important to me if I failed or succeeded in the actual goal, but whether I enjoyed the process. I didn't set expectations on being number 1 or making "$$$" or achieving XYZ, because the expectation was to have fun. I gravitate to those things that I find enjoyable and as a result I naturally excel then without it being "work"...because it is FUN. And I go into an experience without a preconceived idea of what will be at the end of the experience, but just go into it with genuine curiosity. If I have passion to simply explore something, that will, in my opinion, bring me much closer to a positive experience than visualizing a specific agenda, expectation and end result will.

So the next time you enter into an experience, particularly one that you've tried before without much "success", try bringing a different set of tools with you: Genuine Curiosity, No Expectations, and No Judgments. Within that process, pursue what you find enjoyable, where you are naturally curious, and don't push yourself into areas that just don't feel as fun to you. If you have to judge yourself during the process, then the measure you should judge against is simply whether you're having fun. It doesn't matter if you came in dead last, if you came out of the experience at a loss (financial or otherwise), or if you didn't achieve your goal at all. If you measure your emotional experience to the situation, your level of enjoyment, instead of those typical measures, you may find a very different conclusion. And that could be a very good thing.

Don't Let Daily Life Cloud Your Focus on Following Passion with Genuine Curiosity, No Expectations, and No Judgments

Following your passion with genuine curiosity, no expectations, and no judgments is easier said than done. All too often everyday life gets in the way, muddying the waters, so that you lose sight of those things that truly get you excited. But when you can regain and maintain focus on your passions, the ROI is amazing.

Shortly after my last blog post, I took a new job. About a month into the first project to which I was assigned with this new client, I was already getting very positive feedback from my peers as well as the business area for which I was delivering solutions. I was working hard and getting recognition. The old me would have thought this was a successful situation and would have stayed put but not the new me. My new passion drummer focus had my early warning detectors going off like DEFCON1. I wasn't happy. Sure I was being "successful" and I was exceeding expectations, and I was making a name for myself within the company quickly. I liked the people I was working with, I was making good money, and I had all the skills I needed to succeed in this job. But still I wasn't happy. Why? Because I wasn't having fun. I realized that I was doing work that I was quite capable of doing, but that wasn't personally fulfilling. I am a creative person and I realized the work I was doing was not providing me with a creative outlet and as a result I felt unfulfilled. I went to the account rep and told him (in a very PC way) that I wasn't happy, clearly expressed what I needed to be happy, and let them know in a very tactful way that I would be looking for work elsewhere if things remained as they were. Pretty gutsy move for a new hire. Oddly enough, it didn't feel uncomfortable doing this. I felt like this was the only way to move forward. It was this matter of fact situation, and I was going to do whatever I needed to do to find happiness. I fully intended on finding a different job and tendering my resignation. To my surprise, the account rep and hiring manager both committed to having me moved to a different project in under 1 week's time. The new project is allowing me a high degree of creative expression, learning, and problem solving. Yes, I'm still getting all the traditional success measures that I got in my last project, but now I was personally fulfilled. I was happy. I was following my passion. I was loving my work. I'm also getting some different comments now too, about how my passion for my work was infectious. When you are living a life of passion, when you are doing what you love, others notice it. The lesson I learned here is that the universe just keeps reinforcing that I'm on the correct path.

The Ghost Writer

Went to see The Ghost Writer last night. Was only showing in 2 theatres here in Austin so we had to travel a bit but it was worth it. This movie has a very high score from all the major sources so who am I go against the grain....but I must say that as a group, those of us that went last night, we didn't get the motivation of the lead character. Why did he do all of this instead of just keeping his nose down and writing the book? Oh well, it was entertaining, but a back-story that presented the writer as this investigative and tenacious type might have helped me buy it all a bit more than I did. There seemed like there were under currents of other "stuff" that didn't make it into the movie that might have made things less confusing too, but that's speculation. The dubbing of the "F" word was a bit distracting too throughout the film. With that said, it is certainly a good movie. Well written, well acted, well shot. Beautiful in fact. But for being so much, I wanted more. I'm just not sure what is was that was missing that would have made the film wholly satisfying. Go see it. I recommend it. Just clue me in if you figure out what I missed!

Hierarchical Pie Charts Anyone??

So last week I started my new job where I'm working with SQL Server 2008 and Reporting Services. I was anxious to get my hands on 2008 and start playing around. I learned that Dundas charts was integrated into SSRS with 2008, which is cool. Since I'd not done charts before and I'll be doing dashboards with the new job I started playing around with that pretty quickly. I liked it a lot. But then I ran into a snag. And this isn't just an SSRS charts rant, but a exclamation regarding the lack of true hierarchical reporting in a pie chart across the entire IT industry's BI/Data Visualization niche.

So I wanted to do a pie chart with multiple circles that represented parents as inner rings and children as outer rings in sub-slices of the pie (don't ask me why, it's just something I thought would be a clear way of presenting some data that I had...call me a data geek, you're right, I am). Via Google's image search, I quickly found examples of multi-level hierarchical pie charts like this one. BUT, I wasn't able to locate an application that took a hierarchical data table and presented it like this. Excel doesn't do it. SSRS 2008 doesn't do it. Okay, let me rephrase that, SSRS 2008 and Dunda Charts does have the "capability" of creating a report that "looks" like this; however, ....it ain't pretty and is certainly isn't hierarchical in nature. I was appalled at what I had to do to get some very basic hierarchical data to display in the manner in which I thought was intuitive for this type of chart.

So first I scoured the web looking for an application that did this. Apparently, I'm not the only one because MOST of what I found was content from others, like myself, looking for an app that does this type of chart! The names uses for this chart was mind-numbing (multi-level pie, stacked pie, multi-level donut, radial treemap, sunburst). Then looking at the Dundas website, I found this image in their gallery which definitely looks like a hierarchical pie (they call it a doughnut) although the parent/child ordering rings are inverse. So I definitely thought this was possible and just something I had named incorrectly. I WAS indeed incorrect, on more levels than I knew.

So after much trial and error, (actually I had to download the Dundas template and look at their data), I was able to get this chart. I am happy with the results but lord almighty was this something beyond stupid in terms of what I had to do to my data to get the desired results. And beside that, the inner (sub) chart cannot be moved into place with simple drag-and-drop functionality but must be modified with x-y coordinates and length and width variables which is so so very kludgey. What should have taken seconds took much longer and was much less enjoyable as a result. Yes, the data geek got irritated by the UI (User Interface).

So here is the original data (the design elements should be repeated in each section):

But to get the table I wanted, I ended up with data below. So, I had to delete the parent values in all but the first row of each group and then basically I had to put together ratios that would force the items to chart out the way I wanted. The inner chart has absolutely no relationship to the outer chart except that they use the same base table data. Also I ended having to add an ADDITIONAL column with an incremental count so they displayed around the pie in the order I wanted as it didn't do that as the chart got more complex.

I really am shocked that there isn't a tool that does this, or at least not one that it readily available. Dundas appeared to have it but that just goes to show that just because a vendor displays an image of soemthing doesn't mean it's done the way it appears to have been done. Anticipated or not, it's misrepresenting what the tool actually does. Lesson learned.

Basket Weaving 101

I was so excited to get into a basket weaving class since this is something I've wanted to do ever since I was in girl scouts and we made these cute little plastic woven baskets as one of our activities. It was super easy, but I loved it and have always hoped to learn more about basket making and while at a weaving class at HCW, I found they offered classes on basket weaving and I was able to get in!

The instructor, Jill, was very nice and she let us pick on her which made for a lot of laughter in class. She really knows her stuff too which helped me learn quickly. She taught me how to make the bottom quickly while the other students (not beginner's) started working. The class project was a cat's head basket which gets its name from the pointed corners on the bottom that look like a cat's head upside-down. Getting the points to take form is not particularly easy, especially for some making their very first basket, but I hung in there and eventually got it. The weaving was a twill pattern. I picked green reed. I had difficulty getting the rounded shape like the class sample, and my basket isn't perfectly symmetrical, but I'm still pleased with it. In fact, I love it. I am already signed up for a more advanced class that Jill is teaching later this month, a few days after I teach my first viking knitting class. I can't wait!

Weaving 101 - 4-harness table loom

(I get so many hits on this page that I'm thinking there must be a lot of people looking for weaving instructions.  If so, please post comments here and if I get enough interest, I'll post videos on planning a project, creating a warp using a warping mill, warping the loom, and weaving with a 4/8 harness loom.)  I have most of the videos already so I'd just need to get it into my blog. So let me now!)

When I was a youngster, after I'd taught myself crochet (3rd grade), and knitting (5th grade), I was given a basic frame loom so I used some of my left over yarn and tried to make a place mat. It was quickly apparent that I wasn't good at it, so I abandoned the effort. Of course, I had no instructions and no pattern and no book to teach me, so I really was doomed from the get-go. But I've always wanted to take another stab at it. So when I saw the weaving classes offered at a local weaving shop, Hill Country Weavers, I signed up. (Of course I signed up...my friends affectionately call me their "class addict" because I take so many classes, which I kinda like, them making loving fun of me and all.)

So their website is a bit kludgy in the design of the user interface, it's apparent they were going for artsy-fartsy fancy-smancy instead of usability, but if you're patient you'll eventually find the classes (they're listed under "specialty" for each category, which might help). Don't try to hit the back button on your browser though, and don't think you'll be able to cut and paste the store address, class time/description, or anything else for that matter from the website though. Oh well, I'll get off my good web design soapbox now.

So what HCWeaver's is missing on their website, they make up for in their shop and in their classes. Suzanne, one of the owners, is simply the friendliest person I've met. She knows a TON about weaving, and has probably forgotten more than I'll ever actually learn on the subject. She teaches the beginning weaving class which is done on a 4-harness table-size jack loom.

We did simple weave for our first project although others in class did a twill design, mine was a simple houndstooth. I was really nervous since everyone else in class had some loom experience and I had virtually none, none of the terminology, nothing, nada. But I managed quite well and found that I really, REALLY, like weaving. And I realized I have always really liked weaving. Viking Knitting is weaving with wire. Kumihimo is weaving in the round. So it makes sense that I would love this. And I do love this!

Suzanne taught us how to measure out our warp, to make our warp, to warp our loom and how to weave simple weave with 2+ yarn colors in a 2 day weekend workshop. Quite an accomplishment! It was a great class and I highly recommend it for anyone interested in learning how to weave.

I finished my first project in class, cut it off the loom, and tied the knots. Then I went home and soaked the scarf in warm water with fabric softener in my kitchen sink (I have a front-load washing machine so my fancy machine can't do the stuff I need it to do for my weaving projects, rats!). I then put it in the front loader for a rinse and spin cycle (Suzanne later told me just a spin cycle and no rinse because it will take out the fabric softener, but my machines doesn't have that option, argh!). Then I put it in the dryer on the delicate cycle and it came out all wrinkled and horrible looking! I filled the water in my iron and pressed the snot out of the scarf, blocking it as I did so, and it ended up looking really, really nice. Then I took out the extra knots and pressed the fringe and cut them to an even length on both sides. Voila, my first piece.

I then jumped right into my second piece, which Suzanne still helped me calculate my warp, but that I went home and warped the loom by myself! My second project was an overshot weave which was a lot more difficult to do, partly because I picked black yarn, partly because I picked a stretchy yarn and lastly because overshot isn't exactly a beginner's weave. But Suzanne had explained that I have to alternate between the overshot pattern and a tabby weave shot with every other pass. pattern. tabby. pattern. alternate tabby. pattern. tabby. pattern. alternate tabby.

It took my 3 nights to complete the weave and take it off the loom. But then I had to stop to get caught up in my quilting class (still not caught up). And then its been sitting because of the preparations I'm making for the viking knitting class (samples and drafting instructions) that I've been asked to teach. And trying to help a friend with their resume. And trying to help a local store with their website. Egads! Burning the candle at every end I can find, I think!

As soon as it's finished I'll post picks of it.

So the next project I wanted to do was a waffle-weave but it requires more than 4 harnesses to get a really deep dimensional effect. Most of the weaves I want to try require more than 4 harnesses so the loom I've on loan from the store won't cut it for much longer in terms of the projects I want to do. Suzanne says I'm already becoming a "harness snob" and I liked her for saying so.

As a result, Suzanne invited me to try out the store's 8-harness Mighty Wolf folding floor Jack loom. This of course means I have to dedicate time on the evenings/weekends to weave at the store, which ain't easy with the class schedules I keep! But I definitely want to do this so I'm intentionally trying to cut down on my class enrollments so I have room next month for this. If I like this, I'll need to get a loom for home because her shop is about 40 minutes from my house so not practical in terms of frequent weaving.

There is a national weaver's convention for the Handweaver's Guild of America this summer in Albuquerque, New Mexico called Convergence. I'm hoping to go with Suzanne and the group. We'll see!

I also told Suzanne I'm interested in basketweaving, something else on my list of things to learn. HCW offers basketry classes too but nothing for the true beginner was offered at the time. But, Suzanne, being the sweetheart that she is, got me into a non-beginner basket weaving class, stay tuned!