A Grieving Parent's Tribute

Today is the second anniversary of my son's death.  Nick would be 21 now.  I hadn't really thought about it yesterday.  I started a new job this week, so I've been pretty busy.  That's probably a good thing, keeping my mind active on other things.  But I woke up around 3 am and haven't been able to sleep.  Crying a lot. No surprise. And when I'm sad, I write poetry. This one came out sounding like an old country song to me, well, without a chorus. Here's my poem:

A Grieving Parent's Tribute
It's a parents worst nightmare
Standing over their child's grave
There are no words of comfort
No sanity to save

It brings you to your knees
with every breath you take
each little thing reminding you
your heart relives the break

You swim around in darkness
and wrestle with the why's
there is no answer, not this time
not one that satisfies

The pieces that remain 
you pick up and try to hold
play the hand you've been dealt
trying so hard not to fold

Life goes on, it speeds right by
you try to catch your breath
the whole world seems so callous
what's one more senseless death

As the years go by without them
you make a point to say their name
you think of them and it still hurts
but you do it just the same

Some say God only gives you
a load that you can bear
that doesn't seem to make much sense
it doesn't seem quite fair

Some say your child's an angel now
like that makes it okay
to love someone so precious
and have them ripped away

But if there is a reason
it's what they left behind
you feel it deep within you
the strongest love to bind

It changes your very core
for good or bad, a choice
one path leads to bitterness
the other to be their voice

They'd want you to be happy
to forgive yourself and live
they'd want you to find peace of mind
a place where you can give

Dig down deep within you
find the sense among the strife
live each day a gift to them
a tribute to their life

My Job Search Advice

I was laid off a few Fridays ago and had to dive head first into job hunting the following Monday.  Because I was a consultant for many years at the beginning of my career, I was actually pretty well prepared to switch gears quickly and found another really good local database data modeling job in less than 2 weeks. Although I certainly feel I was fortunate, I believe it was less about luck and more about being prepared and knowing how to go about getting a job.  

Today, an old buddy of mine reconnected with me and asked for my advice on searching for a new job. After I replied to his email with my advice, I realized there are probably other people out there that might appreciate my perspective. Keep in mind that this guy and I both have over 20 years experience doing what we do and that we're technical computer/database geeks (so some of this won't pertain to junior professionals or unskilled folks).  Here is the advice I provided.  I hope you find it helpful.

1) Update your resume. While I offered to give him a copy of my resume, instead here I'll provide basic resume hints but there are tons of examples online for you to use as inspiration.  Include your technical skills, your work history (including your job title and the technical skills you were required to know for that job), your education history, and describe yourself in terms that a hiring manager will find desirable (this may need to be revised for different jobs you're applying for), your name and contact information.

2) Update your LinkedIn profile to include stuff in your resume. Search Linked In profiles of other to get ideas of what to include in your profile. Solicit old and current co-workers for recommendations.
4) Prepare a general cover letter that you can fine tune for each job that you apply for. There are lots of examples online, but I try to convey my passion for database work so that it doesn't sound too dry or generic.
5) Look for jobs on LinkedIn, GlassDoor, Monster, Dice, TheLadder. Look for jobs posted on the career pages of all the major employers in your locale. Do the same with each of the consulting firms/temp agencies in town.
6) When emailing, include your LinkedIn profile in your signature. Accept all LinkedIn invites from recruiters. The more your LinkedIn profile is looked at, the higher chance you'll get approached for a potential job by recruiters. Use LinkedIn exclusively as a social network of professional people that can help you get a job either by recruiter, recommending, being in the same industry, etc.  This is not the place to post pics with your friends at the bar...use facebook and instagram for that type of shenanigans :)
7) Keep a communication log of each job you apply for, including the date, the person, the company, the job title, the pay rate (this is especially important if you're more flexible with your pay rate and agree to different proposed rates for different job opportunities).  I also keep a separate email address strictly used for recruiter correspondence.
8) Be positive (don't talk trash about your last job, how many idiots you work with, etc.), smile when you talk to recruiters on the phone (they'll hear that you're smiling, no shit I'm serious), be confident, show off your great verbal communication skills, make them excited to pitch you to the client/hiring manager, help them feel confident that you're the right person for the job. 
9) Think about who you can use as references, make sure these people have recent exposure to your abilities, have them in a range of perspectives (a manager, a colleague, a subordinate, someone from another part of the business that interacts with you). These people should be articulate, professional, and also people you trust to represent your interests. Get their permission and prepare a page with their info, but only provide it if and when asked. 
10) Determine culture and dress of company prior to showing up for interview. Dress slightly better than their standard office attire at that office. Too much better (or worse) and you'll look and feel like a bad fit to them when you walk in the room. 
11) Talk in terms of how you fit their needs. If you can, talk with language that subtly sounds like you've already been chosen for the position and how excited you are about joining the team so they feel how fun you are to work with (you are fun to work with, remember!!).
12) At the end of the interview, try to call out the points you think will really set you apart from the others interviewing, the things they will really desire based on the issues they've share with you about the role, and help them see what a great find you are.
13) After each interview, send a thank you email to the hiring manager and the recruiter (barring an unknown email address) that reiterates why you think you're a good fit and make sure to make it clear you definitely want the job.  

Good luck!

M&P Shield 9mm? Check! This Texas girl is HAPPY!!

I've been looking for a nice single-stack 9mm handgun for conceal carry for a few years now.  I love my Walther PPQ 9mm, especially the striker fire trigger, but it isn't a candidate for conceal carry for a couple reasons. First it's just too big to fit in my waistband or a bra holster comfortably without showing. I'm on the smaller side. Second, like most striker-fire handguns, it doesn't have an external safety. I know. I know. The trigger IS the safety, but the trigger on my PPQ is so damned sensitive that it feels like a hair trigger and if I caught it on the edge of the holster while re-holstering, well, that'd be plain dangerous. And I'm all about safety so that just isn't an option in my book.

So I started looking for a single-stack compact 9mm striker-fire handgun with an external safety.  Not much on the market in that regard I must say.  When I found information on the M&P Shield and read the reviews on it, I was stoked!  My problems were solved!! This was THE handgun.

That was until I went to my local gun shop and found out how rare it is to find this gun for sale.  I have been on a waiting list for almost 2 years now at that gun shop.  They still haven't called me.

However, last month, on a whim, I emailed a few other gun shops in Austin looking for this piece and this awesome lady, Clara, at http://www.heritagefirearmsaustin.com/ was extremely helpful. I ended up stopping out there one day soon after, and they didn't have one in stock, but I gave them my contact info.  I don't think it was even 3 days later that they called me with news that they had one and I could come pick it up.

After how long I'd been waiting, you can imagine, the first thing the next morning, I was out there putting down my cash. Woot! She's a beauty. I'll get pics posted as soon as I get my Crimson Trace installed on her.  Now I just have to schedule my CHP class ...  and find some 9mm ammo for sale. LOL

Thanks to Heritage Firearms for their excellent customer service!  I highly recommend them. And they even offered to help me sell my Ruger LC9. Woot!   I'm one happy Texan.

Clueless Behind the Video Game Wheel

Recently my husband started commuting to work with me.  He noted, after a few weeks experiencing my driving during Austin rush-hour traffic, that he thought I'd really enjoy auto racing video games.

Okay, I don't want to evaluate what that says about how my husband thinks of my driving, but I found the proposal interesting.  We started looking into current racing games and two of them stood out to us: GT5 and Forza4.  

There was only one problem with my getting into these games.  I absolute hate console controllers.  I've gone so far as to by a Xim so I can use my keyboard/mouse when a game isn't offered on PC.  But for this particular application, I don't need a keyboard but a steering wheel and foot pedals.  

I thought it would be a relatively simple task to find a steering wheel.  There are a couple guys at my office that play racing games, and they said hands down the G27 was the way to go. That wheel is specific to GT5 and as I learned more, it became obvious that GT5 is a race car simulator program much more than it is a racing game.  I'm not interesting in tweaking out my car's suspension or gear ratios or other such non-sense just so I can advance to the next level. 

So that had me looking hard at F4.  Everyone I talked to that played Forza 4 said it is a FUN game and not a overly complex simulator like GT5. So I started looking for a steering wheel that worked on the Xbox.  G27 is a PS3 wheel and the Xbox adapter offered for it has received ugly reviews.  So I obviously looked at  the wheel built for F4, made by Fanatech, the Forza Motorsport CSR Wheel Value Pack.  Great reviews on this wheel/pedal set so I go out to buy it but it's not available.

So I looked at the Forza elite wheel that they do have in stock. Um, well, that was a no go.  It's $600 and that doesn't include the $150 pedal. WTF.  This is for Forza 4 so it isn't like I'm playing a high-end simulator like GT5 so this just seems ridiculous to me.  

Oh, then I go back and look at the out-of-stock wheel. First I realize that the value pack sold at $249 is no longer available. Then I realize that the non-elite wheel alone is $200  (the one that 's out of stock) and the pedals are now sold separately for an additional $80.  Why you'd sell a wheel without pedals is just plain bad form in my opinion.  Sure, offer upgrades for the other higher-end pedals, but sell the base wheel with base pedals for goodness sake.  Separating them, when you need both to play, is just a transparent way to increase profits. 

At this point, I simply gave up, abandoning the whole quest.  Sure I'd like to try out F4, but if it's going to be such a pain in the ass just to find a highly rated steering wheel that won't cost an arm and leg, then it is not longer fun.  And I'm doing this because I want to have fun.  

So I'm a bit clueless, a bit disappointed, and ready to leave it all in my rear view mirror.

Car Color Personality Profile Theory

I often note odd little associations between seemingly unrelated things.  Sometimes those associations are entirely coincidental.  Other times, ongoing observation reinforce those associations, then developing into the basics of a personal theory.

One of my oddest personal theories relates to the color of a person's primary vehicle and how that may correlate to some degree to personality profiles.  I've shared this little theory of mine informally over  beer with friends a few times and more often than not, they comment days later that they think there's something to my theory.  It's pretty ridiculous, I'll grant you that, but here it is.

First, this only applies to people that actually chose the color of the car they drive.  If, for example, price is the primary factor in a car purchase, say, on an extremely limited budget (where car color doesn't play a factor), this theory really isn't applicable. Or if the color you want isn't on the lot or isn't offered for that model, then the theory isn't applicable. This thang is specific to people that intentionally picked their car color, not picked by their spouse or parent, but them. So here are the car colors and the personality attributes that I've learned to associate with their drivers:  There is absolutely zero science in this, just associations I've made over the years with the people I know and the color cars that they drive.

BLACK CAR DRIVERS (AGGRESSIVE) - These are your proverbial Type A personalities.  Aggressive, driven, status-conscious, impatient, competitive, and most prone to "road rage."  If there are two lanes at a traffic-lighted intersection, each lane with a single car stopped at the red light, if one of those cars is black, it will likely make better time off the line (response) and go faster (speed) than the car in the other lane.  If you cut this car off, pull in front of them going slower than they are, or otherwise impede their progress, they are most likely to respond aggressively either by passing you or flipping you off, or both.  These drivers are often control-freaks.  Lots of executives drive black vehicles.

WHITE CAR DRIVERS (ARROGANT) - There are two personality camps here.  Up north (colder weather) the personality is slightly different than that of the southern driver.  The northern white car driver personality is arrogant, selfish and they generally think they are better than others, looking down their nose at others and tend to put themselves first. The southern white car driver personality will have all of their northern counterparts but in some cases will actually be more aggressive like a black car driver (when asked, those people often admit they like black cars better but don't find they're practical with the southern heat/sun).  In both cases, these drivers are the most likely to pull out in front of a driver going faster than themselves, to cut people off, to butt in line, stop in the middle of the road some some unknown reason and otherwise innately put themselves (and their vehicle) first regardless of driver etiquette (black car drivers will do the same but typically only after being inconvenienced by another driver or to intentionally be a dick).  Even when at fault, white car drivers are more likely to blame the other driver.

CHAMPAGNE CAR DRIVERS (URBANE ARROGANT) - These are white car drivers that think of themselves as a bit more refined and sophisticated.  Often also have black car driver attributes.

SILVER CAR DRIVERS (SMOOTH) - These are your silver-tongued personalities, socially-adept, easy to like when first met, skillful at persuasion and politically effective. They are seldom in your face, confrontational, or overtly direct. Difficult to know how they feel as they hold their emotions close. Hard to truly get to know these people as they are more likely to ask questions of others than to offer information about themselves. Driving style is mixed.

BLUE CAR DRIVERS (CONFORMIST) - These people just want to fit in with the crowd, to be part of the general group, accepted, and will not want to rock the boat or draw much attention to themselves. Driving style is mixed.

RED CAR DRIVERS (LOOK AT ME CONFORMIST) - These are blue car drivers that want to draw positive attention to themselves.  They say "look at me!" while still wanting to be accepted by the pack. Driving style is mixed.

YELLOW CAR DRIVERS (LOOK AT ME) - These are first and foremost people screaming for attention.  They are often idealists. Some times zealots. Are often unpredictable drivers.

GREEN CAR DRIVERS (LONER) - This group I know the least about but that is likely because they like it that way. Driving style is conservative.

ORANGE CAR DRIVERS (?) - Don't know any orange car drivers.

BROWN CAR DRIVERS (?) - Similar to champagne car drivers but don't know many brown car drivers.

PURPLE CAR DRIVERS (PROMISCUOUS) - These are your more promiscuous personalities. Driving style is mixed.

PINK CAR DRIVERS (MARY KAY/BARBIE/HELLO KITTY LOVER?) - I really don't associate with these folk; however, they likely have problems.

This is really silly and I'm almost embarrassed to put this in print, but I'm bored and wanted to write a blog entry.  So there you go.

Vivint Home Automation and Security - My Experience

We've been talking about getting a security system installed at our house ever since we had a few really shady characters at a garage sale that looked to be casing homes.  I'd gone so far as to call ADT and request a quote, but we'd been playing phone tag due to my hectic schedule.  And I figured my dogs, including a GSD, would probably set us low on the list of target homes for those unsavory dudes so it didn't seem pressing.

When I answered the door after work one night not too long ago, there was a Vivint sales rep trying to sell me on home automation.  Anyone that knows me well, knows I seriously get into this stuff, with programmable Pronto remotes, RF modulators, IR repeaters, Red Eye remotes, and a regular shopper at SmartHome.com.  So he was pretty much instantly talking my language.  In fact, I showed him the wifi ready thermostats I'd already purchased and was planning to install.

In addition to the home automation spiel (locks, thermostats, and lights) they also offered a security service like ADT which included the installation of door sensors, fire/motion/glass breakage detectors, and IP cameras. They also told me that they're working on a garage door opener, a sprinkler system controller, an iPad controller to replace the dated looking go! controller, external cameras and more light components.

The install was free.  The components were free.  Just a monthly service fee ($70) a little pricier than ADT and a 5 year contract.  Okay, the 5 year contract was a huge issue, but they said they'd install our stuff in our new home if we moved, the rate was locked for the duration of the contract, and it wasn't like we'd stop needing a security system.

I asked about the technology, z-wave, and the sales guy wasn't really able to give me much in terms of specifics regarding the technology.  But I did a quick search on my phone via smarthome.com and found z-wave components.  I asked if I could augment the system with 3rd party products and the sales guy said that I could as long as it was compatible. They also told me I could get on an email list to get new products installed as soon as they were offered by Vivint.

We signed up, and within 20 minutes I have 5 guys whizzing around my home installing a routers, a door lock, thermostats, a camera, and various detectors.  They were done with the entire install in an hour.  They trained us on the app we'd downloaded on our phones for free, had us talk to there corporate office to complete our payment/contract details and to verify they'd not used fraudulent sales tactics (they recorded the call) and left.  We went to bed that night with a fully functional security system.

They weren't able to wire into my existing home wiring because it isn't connected to a security control motherboard.  They said if I got it wired to a motherboard, they could come back to integrate it with the Vivint sytem, but that wiring the motherboard was a huge task.  I need to research this still.

The next morning I noticed my name was spelled wrong on their website when I logged into my account (vivint.com), so I called the service contact number and was immediately talking to someone that solved my problem promptly and professionally. Nice!

I went to work feeling good but I still researched the company, since I knew I had my 3 day right of rescission in the contract I'd signed.  Most of the complaints I found were based on aggressive sales tactics, but the sales guy had me at the words "home automation."  So we moved the camera, and played with the system and pretty much loved it.  It's reliable and easy to use.  We told our friends and family about it.  People were very interested.  I looked up the sale guy's name on the internet and found him pretty quickly on Facebook.  I sent him a Facebook note asking him if he had contact info I could give other people so that he could get the sale.  He'd done a really good sales job so I felt confident sending him to my friends and work associates and thought he'd like the commissions.  He never responded.  (Red flag number one).

So now for the reason for why am I writing this post.  I finally had some time to start looking at smarthome.com for additional z-wave components, like in-wall light switches using z-wave so I can control the ceiling fan and light, and a swimming pool pump z-wave controller, and miniblind controllers, and garage door openers. Vivint doesn't offer these products yet based on their website. I found what I thought I wanted and then went to Vivint's site to see if those components were compatible with Vivint's go! controller.  But, oddly enough, I couldn't find any information on 3rd party z-wave component compatibility.  I looked in my owner's manual to see if it talked about how to install them, and there isn't even a section in the manual for installing components.  (Red flag number two).

So after much research online, I've come to the realization that the sales guy and the techs installing the system in my home had indeed lied to me and my husband when they told us that we could install 3rd party components and integrate them into our Vivint system.  After some online digging in DIY home automation forums, I found that I would have had to change a security code on the controller within the first 40 hours after the system was installed or I'd be forever locked out of that controller.  I figured this out about a week after the system was installed.  So now it appears I must pay Vivint to add any new components, and those components apparently must be purchased from Vivint and if Vivint doesn't offer the products I want yet, I am pretty much out of luck until they do start offering it.  Do I feel like I was duped?  Yes, I do.  Am I wanting to cancel my contract? No.  I still like the security system and the remote access of my video camera, thermostats and locks.  It's still a good value to me even without the home automation stuff I really want to do.  But it's still a bummer.

At this point, I'm honestly considering just spending the $208 (on sale) to buy another non-vivint go! controller (the same exact controller that doesn't have the installation lockout controlled by Vivint) so that I can get update patches and can add my own components at will. Sure I'll still have the base security components on the Vivint system with the Alarm.com service.  But the majority of my home automation will be controlled by the other controller which I have full rights to modify.  Kinda stupid, but Vivint really isn't giving me much choice.  I love the security system, and the company has been very professional (except for misrepresenting the 3rd party components limitations and omitting info on their customer lockout "feature") but if I want the cool z-wave stuff they aren't yet supporting, it's probably my only choice.

If you've found a work around to this situation yourself, please post me a comment. I'd love to learn what other options are available for home automation with my Vivint system (if they exist).

Happy Birthday, Literally.

It was my 45th birthday yesterday. I've been telling people I am 45 since the new year rolled in, thinking that it would ease the mental blow when the actual day arrived.  I had irrational visions of dinosaurs, shrunken granny-smith apple-heads, and denture cream.  Oddly enough, if I had to pick a day to repeat, like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, I'd happily repeat yesterday.

Most people would probably like to repeat something closer to their 25th birthday, I'd imagine. But not me.  It's pretty incredible to look back 20 years and see just how drastically my life has changed, how I have changed.  At 25, I was already married 5 years, has an extremely disabled 2 year old son who had just come home from the hospital on life support with near around the clock nursing care. I worked full time as a computer programmer, was the primary breadwinner, simultaneously putting myself through online university, caring for my son as best a new parent can without a medical background and I saw no real change coming down the pike in my situation any time soon.  I surely felt the world on my shoulders from the first moment I awoke in the morning until the moment my exhausted head hit the pillow each night.

Looking back, I don't really now how I did it.  I suspect all parents of extremely special needs children likely ponder this at some point.  But you do what you need to do, taking one step in front of the next, breathing in and out, checking each responsibility off your list as they're completed, be everything you're capable of being at that moment, often forgetting about your own needs, and not looking too far forward because it would be overwhelming. What a roller-coaster ride those years were!

Today, my life is irrecognizable.  I've divorced and re-married. My son has passed away after outliving life expectancy estimates by nearly 2 decades.  I've moved across the country to warmer weather and a better economy.  I've completed my education, as far as I wish to pursue university.  I moved into a new industry professionally: video games. I dabble at all sorts of creative arts including my lifelong dream of writing a novel.  I play video games, and walk my dogs, and lay in the sun by my pool reading my Kindle.  But most importantly, in 2009 I discovered my Passion Drummer, and I learned how to be happy.  It's been little steps here and there, so my new life has sort of crept up on me, but not in a bad sense.  Gradual changes are usually felt with less direct recognition.  Often, as a result, they are not as explicitly appreciated.

But last night, as I sat at a restaurant, holding hands with my husband, making goo-goo eyes at one another, and saying mushy things that I shall not repeat,  I was presented with a birthday dessert with a candle.  Thankfully the waiter didn't sing; it was a nice restaurant. As I prepared to blow out my candle, I thought of what my birthday wish should be, as I've done more times than a 45 year old cares to admit.  And, when I blew out that candle, my wish was to have my 45th year full of days just like that very day: happy.

It didn't strike me as poignant at the time.  It wasn't until I was tucked into bed and fading into sleep that I realized how special that birthday wish was.  I wasn't wanting for anything more.  I wasn't feeling that something was missing in my life.  I was fulfilled, engaged, at peace, and happy in that moment, on that day, in this life. What an incredible realization.  It brought tears of joy to my eyes.

There was a time when I truly feared that I would never find that elusive lasting happiness that we all seem to seek in corporate america and beyond. I was so driven, so responsible, so accomplished, and yet so haunted by what I felt I still lacked in my life.  I am so very grateful to lay that personal fear to rest and to have no time in my world for such notions now.  It was indeed the best birthday I could have possibly hoped to have.  As I drifted off to sleep, I thought of the love and happiness that I felt in such abundance and I asked the universe to take up my surplus to share with those in need, those like me back when I was 25.  Yes, it's probably a very new-age thing to think, but I did, and it felt good, so very good.


 

What If? Exercise 2

Okay, second things first...what is up with the blogger editor? I spent more time trying to get my entry formatted correctly than actually writing the damned thing.  I tried MSWord, Google's word processor, and just native blogger editor and it NEVER comes out like what it's supposed to.  Where is the WYSIWYG editor?  This is stupid.  So I apologize up front for the formatting errors, which I'm frankly tired of trying to get right.  And now...

First things first, well, I apologize for falling off the face of the planet (or this blog more specifically) when my late son's birthday rolled around.  It was the first birthday after his death, and it leveled me flat.  Then came my birthday, which was equally miserable.  And Mother's Day is forever unbearable for me now.  

Luckily I started a new job in the video game industry around that time, so I had a lot to keep me busy, for which I was extremely grateful.  So I was doing pretty well until the anniversary of his passing this past month.  I immersed myself in video games for nights on end.  Still am as a matter of fact.  

Borderlands 2 is the first FPS (first-person shooter) that I've really truly taken to.  I love that game, mostly because it has a female character that I can play, it has co-op so I can play with Jason, and it feels very MMORPG-ish with multiple quest lines and lots and lots of loot!  Anyway, so I'm getting along well, loving my new job, finding things to occupy my time, and picking up the pieces as best I can.  

I have been writing amazingly enough.  I have 10, albeit small, chapters written on my very first trashy romance novel!  It won't be for everyone, my females are less “warm and fuzzy” and more “strong no-nonsense ass kickers”...no surprise for those of you who know me.

I recently attended a lecture for writers and learned that I may need a more organic way of writing than to plan out an outline first.  It seems to take out all the fun for me apparently.  I'll keep experimenting and working on the novel as inspiration hits.  So far, I love the story and I have no idea where the characters are going to take me (Kim and Jake that is).  That's exciting! 

So I'm going to start back up with my writing exercises, where I left off.  Here goes!

Exercise 2 (from What If? by Anne Bernays and Pamela Painter)

Using one sentence written in exercise 1, write ten second sentences that will take the story in entirely different directions.

1)   Jenny cracked the gum in her mouth as she looked out the filmy window of the salon and watched Leonard Maynes wave his handgun around haphazardly while lumbering down the middle of Main Street.

      

      "Darlene, yer husband is at it again!" she squawked back toward the rinsing bowls as she locked the front door and picked up the phone and started dialing 911.

2)   Jenny cracked the gum in her mouth as she looked out the filmy window of the salon and watched Leonard Maynes wave his handgun around haphazardly while lumbering down the middle of Main Street.

    

      She looked down at her wristwatch, as it was only a matter of time before the sheriff came and hauled him off to jail to sober-up after yet another drunk and disorderly charge, and she was hoping that Will Brutaker would go along for the ride and she'd have a chance to chat with him and see if he'd go to the fair with her this weekend.

3)   Jenny cracked the gum in her mouth as she looked out the filmy window of the salon and watched Leonard Maynes wave his handgun around haphazardly while lumbering down the middle of Main Street.

    

      It took her a minute to notice the rambling gate and green-gray of his skin...if she didn't know better she'd say Leonard looked more like a zombie than the dairy farmer living down on route 53 who drank too much.

4)   Jenny cracked the gum in her mouth as she looked out the filmy window of the salon and watched Leonard Maynes wave his handgun around haphazardly while lumbering down the middle of Main Street. She pushed open the screen door of the salon, stomped right out to Leonard, pulled the gun out of his hand, and cuffed him upside the head with her free hand.

5)   Jenny cracked the gum in her mouth as she looked out the filmy window of the salon and watched Leonard Maynes wave his handgun around haphazardly while lumbering down the middle of Main Street. She watched nonplussed as old Joe Moriarty walked out to him, hands on hips, and tried to talk some sense into the recent widower that wasn't dealing with things all too well.

6)   Jenny cracked the gum in her mouth as she looked out the filmy window of the salon and watched Leonard Maynes wave his handgun around haphazardly while lumbering down the middle of Main Street. She'd have just ignored him, again, but when he got closer, she saw the blood spattered across the front of him so she picked up the reception phone and quickly dialed 911.

7)   Jenny cracked the gum in her mouth as she looked out the filmy window of the salon and watched Leonard Maynes wave his handgun around haphazardly while lumbering down the middle of Main Street. Just like Lana Maynes to drive her husband to a fit of public drunk and disorderly, that poor man never stood a chance against the likes of that bitch.

8)   Jenny cracked the gum in her mouth as she looked out the filmy window of the salon and watched Leonard Maynes wave his handgun around haphazardly while lumbering down the middle of Main Street. 

      "Hey, Fiona, did you piss off Leonard again?" Jenny asked casually and went back to filing her nails.

9)   Jenny cracked the gum in her mouth as she looked out the filmy window of the salon and watched Leonard Maynes wave his handgun around haphazardly while lumbering down the middle of Main Street. And following four or five paces behind him was his ever-faithful hound, Ben, with his head hung low, obviously embarrassed enough for the two of them.

    

10)  Jenny cracked the gum in her mouth as she looked out the filmy window of the salon and watched Leonard Maynes wave his handgun around haphazardly while lumbering down the middle of Main Street. As she walked out of the salon toward him, Leonard turned toward her, put the gun in his mouth as he looked at her, and pulled the trigger, blood and brain matter exploding out the back of his head.

  

What If? Exercise 1

My mom bought me a new book for Christmas: "What If?" by Anne Bernays and Pamela Painter.  It's a book full of writing exercises for the creative writer.  

Exercise 1

Write ten opening lines for ten different stories.  Try to make it suck the reader into the story with that one sentence.

1)     The brass snapped decisively as Trevor clicked closed the clasps of his briefcase and stood from the table, wondering if it were possible that his dreams had really all just come true in an instant.

2)     Jenny cracked the gum in her mouth as she looked out the filmy window of the salon and watched Leonard Maynes wave his handgun around haphazardly while lumbering down the middle of Main Street.

3)     It was unseasonably cold for early May but it didn’t do anything to keep the smell of death out of the air as Detective Jukes looked over the blue-tinged skin of the nude body laying face down on the merry-go-round in Peace Park this fine Sunday morning.

4)     The barn door screamed and banged as the wind blew it open and closed, giving glimpses of the orderly hay bales within but it was the eyes peaking out at him from the 2^nd-story windows of the large dingy white farm house that really irritated him.

5)     The blare of the oncoming pickup’s horn tore Lana’s attention away from the cigarette she was trying to light with trembling hands and back on the road where she righted her little coupe back into her own lane and cursed the day she’d ever set eyes on Brian Baker. 

6)     The service station was closed and the mastiff barked aggressively against the glass as Stark looked in the windows to see where the cash register was located.

7)     The lights of the rooftop bistro atop the Towne Royale hotel were seductive, the music tempting, the greenery provocative, and yet none of it was necessary as he landed his eyes on Ema Lane with her mane of auburn hair, long curvy legs and lips that made a man beg for more lies.

8)     I’ve always hated the smell at funerals and this time was no different.

9)     Jake sat in the undersized chair outside the principal’s office and stewed.

10) Two parka-clad bodies huddled over a hole in the ice sat motionless until the sound of gunfire cracked across the ice-covered lake.

A Creative Writing Exercise

My teacher got this exercise out of a book, but I didn't catch the name of it.

In 20 minutes, write a story with 26 sentences, each sentence starting with a consecutive letter of the alphabet.  Include one sentence fragment and 1 sentence that is 100 words long and grammatically sound.

After Nira looked into the water, she realized her mistake.

Being a mermaid on land, she wanted so badly to dive back in immediately.

Coming to the water's edge had been such a strong desire though and she thought she could handle it.

Disciplined as she was, she realized it was too much in her nature to be submerged, fluid surrounding her, tailfin unfurled in all its luxuriant glory, spreading wide to catch the water and push it away strongly with her lower body and feel herself propelled through the liquid like a gust of wind let loose in a stagnant room, knowing that she could go on forever, the wide expanse endless and full of possibilities, and she shouldn't have put herself in such a difficult situation as she was now, standing near the water's edge, tailfin itching to be let loose.**

Enough had already gone wrong and she needed to keep her mind on task.

Focusing hard, she turned her back and stepped away from the water, each step taking great effort.

Getting about ten feet away, she started to feel the pull toward the water to loosen its grip within her.

Happy with herself for certain.*

“I don’t want to go home just yet” she said to herself.

Just as she really started to relax she heard a splash behind her.

Keeping her heart from leaping from her chest took such effort as she turned to see Darius airborne, coiling his magnificent tailfin, legs magically separating, and him landing solidly on the ground just a few feet from her.

Looking at him in shock, Nira was still.

Maybe he wasn’t here for her, she thought, and closed her eyes and said a little prayer.

“Nira, what the heck are you doing on land?” Darius asked, hands on hips.

Opening her eyes, she swallowed hard. 

“Please don’t take me back just yet, my father doesn’t understand why I need to do this Darius,” she pleaded.

Questioning her father was never a good idea. 

“Really, Nira, what could possibly be so important to take such a serious risk?” he asked.

She looked at him then with a quiver in her lip, and said “Love?” with more question than certainty.

“True love is waiting for you, Nira, but you aren’t going to find it on land” Darius retorted.

Uncertain where he was going with that statement, Nira gave him a hard look.

“Valiant as ever, Darius has come to save the day and do my father’s bidding”, she exclaimed bitterly.

Wouldn’t her father be pleased with Darius returning with her in tow, she thought.

“Xanadu just wouldn’t be the same without you, Nira. Please come home...Your father didn’t send me”, Darius said softly with a furrowed brow and outstretched hand. 

“You came on your own? But Why?” she stammered.

Zillions of thing rushed through her mind at light speed, the pieces of a puzzle all falling into place and she realized that Darius loved her and she him, her true love had been right there all along, not somewhere out here on land, and she placed her trembling hand in his, as Darius stepped forward and kissed her.