I do not make New Year resolutions. Instead I pick a theme for
each year and I try to focus and explore that area throughout the year. I've
had The Year of Friendship, The Year of Simplicity, The Year of Organization,
The Year of Autonomy, The Year of Education, The Year of Closure, and the list
goes on. I've been doing this for over 15 years now and I come away each year
with new insight and a better understanding of myself at the very least.
Last year my theme was: "2009 - The Year of Happiness." As my blog
posts here illustrate, I've been quite focused on the topic of happiness this
past year. I'm very "happy" with the progress I've made this year,
pardon the pun. This year was the first year however where I've felt like I was
put to the test at year end to evaluate my progress. Here's what happened:
Unbeknown to me, on the cusp of my long-awaited holiday vacation,
I was walking into a pop quiz for my "2009-Year of Happiness" quest.
Well, it was more like a final exam really. Year end and all.
When I say that happiness is a choice, I am serious, as serious as
a heart attack. My pre-vacation events had all the ingredients for a major
holiday disaster. With my newfound passion drummer though, everything worked
out with top marks across the board. Okay, minus one ill-begotten Trivial
Pursuit game, but let's not go there.
We had a 6am flight out of town to visit my boyfriend Jason's
relatives. I calculated that we needed to leave the house by 4:30am to make it
through the hectic holiday queue at the airport and check-in on time. Jason
usually goes to bed around this time so he said he was just going to stay up
and sleep on the plane. I had worked that day and had spent that evening
installing and programming a new keypad deadbolt and locking handle-set on the
front door (a mover had recently broken our deadbolt and it needed to be
replaced before we headed out of town). I was tired so I told him I was going
to take a nap and could he please wake me up at around 3am so I could have
plenty of time to pack my bag and get ready. I didn't think to set a backup
alarm (see where this is heading??)
Yep, I woke up shortly after 4:30am. I'm not exactly sure what
woke me up, perhaps one of the dogs? I tore around the bedroom and bath like a
lunatic on speed trying to get ready and packed as a single desperate and
haphazard act. I figured Jason was upstairs, asleep in the Lazyboy, with his
packed bag by his side. I was wrong, on both counts. He was upstairs playing
Modern Warfare 2 and he appeared to have been there all night. That game rocks,
don't get me wrong. But my first reaction was not to give him a kiss and say
"No big deal." The "old" goal-oriented Tracy would have
gone postal on his gameside, if you get my meaning.
Now I must admit my first reaction was to go off on him. I was tired
and freaking out about missing our flight. I knew there was no possible way we
were going to get him dressed, packed, and make the 45 minute drive to the
airport in time to make that flight. Boarding started at 5:40am and it was
already past 5am. I threw his clothes from the dryer into his back-pack while
he got ready. We arrived at the airport at 6am on the dot. We probably heard
the jets of our plane as it left the runway.
During the drive to the airport, I realized I had a decision to
make. I could be upset and mad and anxious and stressed about the situation we
were now in. I could analyze and point fingers and lecture until Jason's
emotional state matched my own. In other words, I could do the same old thing
I'd always done in similar situations. Or, I realized, I could listen to my
passion drummer. I am fortunate that I'd already honed my skills at finding the
elusive beat of the passion drummer that always, without fail, leads me to
happiness. So I stopped for a moment and listened. I looked at Jason. I felt
the love that I have for him. I chuckled at his at times irresponsible and
boyish ways that landed us in an unfortunate game of stand-by at the airport
two days before Christmas. I acknowledged that it was this very same pervasive
focus on having fun of his that I'd fallen in love with, that had in a manner
of speaking saved me from myself and a life of stress and self-imposed
obligation and super-human responsibilities and ultimately an early grave. I
realized I was extremely fortunate to be with him, living the new life I'd
crafted for myself after much pain and turmoil, and that spending this holiday
with him was more important than where we spent the holiday. It was
Christmas time and I was in love. Who could ask for more than that? I thought
about how happy I was. And, there it was, I was happy!
We got standby vouchers for the next flight out, which was heading
to Denver. As luck would have it we got on that flight because it had been
delayed for a few hours and several passengers had transferred to other flights
so they could catch their connecting flights. We weren't sitting together but
we didn't care. We were on our way.
When we got to Denver it was snowing and the airport was at
capacity. All flights were booked. It was a mad house. But I was with Jason and
we were having fun, even if we weren't quite sure if we would be spending the
holiday in Denver or in Eugene, Oregon. When I told the airline rep that we
were both on stand-by and that we wanted to be kept together, she looked
stressed and said there was no way she could promise we would sit together. I
quickly laughed and said "No, No! We don't care where we sit, we just want to be on the
same plane!" She
looked surprised and relieved for a split second before she reestablished the
standard airline face. I was happy and nice and I guess that wasn't something
she was used to in a stand-by passenger during the holidays. There were a lot
of people holding standby vouchers, but she wasn't listing stand-by names on
the overhead display. I was pretty certain we weren't getting on even with our
having no checked luggage. The gate was standing room only. As the last group
boarded she hadn't called a single stand-by passenger name. I walked up to her
and asked what I needed to do to get on the next stand-by flight. As she
grabbed passenger boarding passes and scanned them for Group 4, she said,
"You automatically get put on the next stand-by list." Then she looked up and said, wait,
you're the couple right? I nodded. She said, "I want you to stick around.
I'm going to try to get you on." And she did. Not only that, but we even
got to sit together. Can you believe that?
When we arrived in Eugene, we found out that the rental car
company had canceled our reservation when we didn't come in on the 10am flight,
it was now around 5pm. We didn't get upset but instead just asked for her help.
They didn't have any cars left, so she called down and found out there was a
car that was just returned and was being cleaned. We waited 5 minutes or so for
them to finish cleaning it and they even drove it up curbside for us, so we
didn't even have to walk!
The rest of the vacation was delightful. I finally got to meet
Jason's twin brother, Sean, along with a couple cousins, Jenny and Rufus, I had
not yet met. It was simply an amazing time. Sean is extremely entertaining and
he also makes one mean martini! And Jason, who hates his picture taken, even let
me snap of picture of him with Santa Claus when he showed up to hand out
presents to the kids on Christmas Eve. Unfortunately, the kids missed seeing
Santa take off from the roof with his sleigh and reindeer although they were
all outside looking, and Sean reappeared shortly thereafter from upstairs after
helping Santa prepare for his rooftop take off. Thanks Santa!! I can't wait to
visit again. I also finally got to see Dinah's magnificent addition she made to
her house and the meals were simply out of this world. Oh, and the wine!!
Yummy.
Looking back at the holiday, we had a marvelous time, but I
honestly think it was the passion drummer that made it happen. Had we been
stressed and short with the travel professionals we encountered, I seriously
doubt we'd have made those flights...particularly the Denver flight. You reap
what you sow, as the saying goes. If you put out positive (happy) energy, and
you have no set expectations, good things come. They may not always be what you
wanted, or thought you needed, but you will get good things. In this case, it
happened to be what we wanted too, but like I said, that isn't really the
point. The point is that we followed our passion, we maintained happiness
during an uncertain time and good things followed.
So it was, two days before Christmas, I was handed my final exam
for the 2009 Year of Happiness quest, and I'm proud to announce that I passed
with flying colors.